Craving is a powerful and complex experience, often described as a profound sense of incompleteness. When we crave, we are driven by an intense desire to fill an internal void by acquiring something external. This need to take something from the world and place it within ourselves defines the essence of craving.
The Role of Impulsivity in Craving
Phenomena like ego fatigue and delay discounting exacerbate impulsive urges, making it harder to resist immediate gratification. But where do these urges originate? What is their root in our inner psyche? Marc Lewis, Ph.D., a developmental neuroscientist and professor, has explored these questions extensively. His personal and professional experiences with addiction offer valuable insights into the nature of craving.
Craving and Emotional Wounds
Many individuals who struggle with addiction have endured significant emotional pain during their formative years. Experts like Gabor Maté have highlighted the correlation between early-life trauma and addiction. Experiences of rejection, shame, abandonment, or profound loss leave emotional scars that contribute to suffering.
However, it’s important to note that suffering alone does not lead to addiction. Many people experience suffering without becoming addicted. The critical difference lies in the flawed belief held by those who become addicted: the expectation that external factors can make them whole. This misguided assumption fuels the relentless pursuit of relief.
The Roots of Craving and Addiction
Addiction begins with the discovery of external sources of relief—substances like alcohol and drugs, or behaviors like gambling and sex. These experiences offer temporary solace, creating a powerful association between external stimuli and internal comfort. Over time, the object of relief becomes increasingly desirable, leading to intense craving during periods of absence.
Yet, this belief—that something external can complete us—must originate from more than a few isolated experiences. It points to a deeper predisposition, a psychological foundation where addiction finds fertile ground.
Craving as a Fundamental Assumption
At the heart of craving is the fundamental assumption that we are incomplete without the object of desire. This belief perpetuates the cycle of addiction. Understanding and addressing this core misconception is essential for recovery. Willing Ways emphasizes the importance of recognizing this inner dynamic to foster lasting change and freedom from addiction.
In conclusion, craving is rooted in a flawed perception of incompleteness. By acknowledging this belief and its origins, individuals can begin to break free from the grip of addiction and discover healthier ways to fill the void within.