Stress can take a toll on our mental and physical health. It often leads to skipping self-care, overeating, or feeling overwhelmed—creating a sense of losing control. Learning how to manage stress effectively by separating what you can control from what you cannot is key to maintaining balance and improving your overall well-being.
Understanding Stress and Control
Stressful situations can make us feel powerless. However, even when things seem out of your hands, there are ways to manage your reaction and regain some stability. Psychotherapist Julie M. Simon, author of The Emotional Eater’s Repair Manual, offers practical strategies for managing stress by identifying two types of stressors—those you can control and those you cannot.
Dealing With What You Can’t Control
When facing things outside your control, it’s vital to adopt healthy ways of coping. Here are a few approaches:
- Acknowledge and Express Your Feelings
Allow yourself to fully experience your emotions. Writing in a journal or talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can provide relief and clarity.
- Challenge Catastrophic Thoughts
Pay attention to negative thoughts and reframe them. For example, replace “I’ll never finish this” with “I can break this task into smaller steps and make progress.”
- Practice Relaxation Techniques
Use methods like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to calm your mind and ease tension in your body.
- Consider Long-Term Impact
Ask yourself if this issue will still matter a month or a year from now. Time can offer perspective and help with acceptance.
- Find Silver Linings
Look for positive outcomes, such as personal growth or resilience. If no positives stand out, practice self-compassion and know it’s okay to give yourself time to process.
- Focus on Gratitude
Shift your thoughts to what you’re thankful for—like supportive relationships, your strengths, or simple comforts in your life.
- Engage in Activities You Love
Hobbies like painting, reading, or spending time in nature can bring joy and act as a stress buffer.
Dealing With What You Can Control
For stressors you do have control over, taking proactive measures can make a meaningful difference:
- Prioritize and Delegate
Review your responsibilities and identify tasks you can delegate, postpone, or remove entirely. A simplified to-do list reduces stress.
- Set Boundaries
Learn to say no to things that drain your energy or overload your schedule. This skill will get easier with practice and helps protect your mental health.
- Evaluate Relationships
If certain relationships consistently add stress to your life, consider setting boundaries or limiting interactions with challenging individuals.
- Seek Professional Support
A therapist can guide you with insights and strategies tailored to your unique circumstances.
- Build Skills in Time Management and Assertiveness
Take courses or read books on these topics to help you handle stress and stay in control of your schedule.
Starting Small and Staying Consistent
Implementing these strategies might feel overwhelming at first. Start with one or two steps that feel achievable. For example, begin with a daily breathing exercise or draw a clear boundary in the workplace. Small, consistent actions will eventually lead to significant progress.
Acknowledging Your Efforts
Celebrate even small victories. Every effort you make to manage stress is a step toward a healthier, more balanced life. As Julie M. Simon wisely points out, “Applaud yourself for the willingness and courage to examine your life and make changes.” These small steps gradually lead to a calmer, more manageable outlook on life.
Seek Support When Needed
If stress becomes unmanageable, seeking professional help is a strong and courageous choice. Reaching out to experts at Willing can provide the tools and guidance needed to regain control and restore balance in your life.
Final Thoughts
Stress is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t have to control you. By focusing on what you can change and letting go of what you can’t, you can cultivate resilience and inner peace. Start with small, actionable steps, and remember that you have the strength to navigate life’s challenges with grace and confidence.