Forgiving Yourself For The Past
There are moments when I’ve reflected on my past and asked myself questions like, “Why did I spend so many years struggling with negative self-talk, crash diets, or chasing unrealistic standards?” I wonder why I allowed others’ opinions to shape my self-worth or felt shame about my body that influenced how I treated myself. If it were possible, I’d go back and change all of it—embrace self-compassion, find joy in movement, eat without guilt, and stand up for myself. But because time travel doesn’t exist, the only way forward is through self-forgiveness.
A Shared Journey of Self-Forgiveness
Self-forgiveness is something many of us grapple with. We’ve all had experiences of regret and moments when we wished we had made different choices. What I’ve come to realize is this—self-forgiveness is necessary for personal growth and healing.
Recently, I came across a touching post from Sui on the blog Cynosure. It was a simple yet powerful letter of self-forgiveness. Here’s an excerpt that truly struck a chord:
“Dear Me,
I forgive you.
I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for all the times I didn’t show kindness to my body and for the mistakes I’ve made. I forgive myself for letting fear and shame guide my actions and for making choices out of pain or confusion. Most importantly, I forgive myself for forgetting how to be kind to myself.
Love, Me”
This letter reminded me how universal forgiveness is. It’s a step we must all take if we want to move past regret and find peace.
Embracing Forgiveness and Releasing Shame
Brené Brown, in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and unworthy of love and belonging.” Shame often keeps us stuck, dragging us into cycles of self-blame and regret.
But there’s a way out. The antidote to shame is forgiveness. By forgiving ourselves, we acknowledge that—in every situation—we were doing the best we could with the awareness and resources we had at that time. Self-forgiveness isn’t about justifying past mistakes; it’s about learning to treat ourselves with the compassion we would offer someone we care deeply about.
Moving Forward with Self-Compassion
Now, I choose to forgive myself, to accept that I’ve grown and moved forward. Self-forgiveness isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about learning from it. Here are a few simple steps you can take on this path of forgiveness and self-compassion:
1. Write a Letter to Yourself
Take inspiration from Sui’s letter and write your own. Be honest about the moments that weigh on you and use your words to release the guilt.
2. Own Your Story
Acknowledge your experiences without judgment. Remember, the struggles you’ve faced are part of what makes you human—they do not define your worth.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Whenever self-doubt creeps in, remind yourself to be kind. Treat yourself with the same patience and understanding you would offer a close friend.
4. Focus on Growth
Reflect on how far you’ve come and set simple goals for the future. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and use it as fuel for positive change.
At Willing Ways, we believe in the power of self-forgiveness and its role in mental well-being. If you’re struggling to let go of the past, consider seeking support from a trusted source. Visit our rehabilitation center Lahore to explore resources that can guide you toward healing and self-compassion.
What do you forgive yourself for? If you’re comfortable, share your story or write your own letter of self-forgiveness. Remember, you deserve kindness—especially from yourself.