Alert: If You’re Trying to Manage Your Drug Use, You’re Likely Not Enjoying it Anymore
When I was struggling with addiction, I kept telling myself things like, “I’m in control,” or, “It’s not a problem.” The truth was the opposite—my drug use had taken over every part of my life, but I convinced myself I could manage it. Instead of seeking help, I tried different methods to control my addiction. These attempts only prolonged the problem and kept me stuck in the cycle.
If you’re finding ways to try to “manage” your drug use, chances are, the enjoyment is long gone. Here are three ways I tried—and failed—to manage my addiction.
1. Storing Drugs at a Friend’s House
I thought keeping my drugs at a friend’s house would help me limit how often I used them. A generous friend allowed me to stash them in her dresser, but when she decided to get sober, she set new boundaries and told me I couldn’t store them there anymore. Instead of respecting her decision, I selfishly thought her sobriety wouldn’t affect her tolerance for my behavior.
Even when I still had access, this plan didn’t work. My friend lived only five minutes away, so getting the drugs was always easy. The system just delayed my use—and sometimes added a frustrating LA traffic jam into the mix. At the end of the day, my addiction remained unchanged, no matter where the drugs were stored.
2. Going Out of Town to Avoid Using
At one point, I thought distance would solve my problems. I planned weekend trips, thinking that physically separating myself from access to drugs would help. One time, I visited my grandmother in Palm Springs, hoping the change of scenery would keep me clean.
By Friday afternoon, I had already called my dealer and binged on cocaine. I showed up at my grandmother’s house the next day in terrible shape—exhausted, anxious, and ashamed. To get through the weekend, I drank vodka to steady myself and spent most of my time recovering rather than enjoying her company. When I returned to LA, nothing had changed. The same patterns picked up where they had left off, proving that escaping didn’t address the real issue.
3. Trying to Transfer Addictions
When it became obvious I had a problem, I thought the answer was to switch to something “less harmful.” I began dating someone who used painkillers and decided to swap cocaine for opioids, convincing myself this was a step in the right direction. Of course, the relationship didn’t last, and neither did this phase of denial—I quickly returned to cocaine.
Next, I decided to try marijuana, despite it causing paranoia in the past. I convinced myself I could become a typical “pothead” instead of a cocaine user. Over a weekend, I smoked weed using a DIY soda can as a bong and spent my time bouncing between manicures and shopping, all while feeling paranoid and unsettled. I called it “The Great Weed Experiment,” and like every other plan, it failed to help me regain control.
The Harsh Reality
These methods all failed because addiction is not something you can manage or control. When you’re trying to control drug use, it’s a clear sign you’ve stopped enjoying it. More importantly, these attempts only perpetuate the cycle of addiction.
At Willing Ways, we understand the complexities of addiction and offer effective solutions for recovery. If you or someone you love is struggling, seeking help from a professional drug rehabilitation center Lahore can provide the support needed to break free from addiction. Remember, true recovery begins when you stop trying to control your use and start addressing the root causes.