Excuses are familiar in fact Very familiar. They happen all around us many, many times every day. They happen so often that they begin to appear harmless, which is one of the reasons they’re so dangerous. But, in fact they aren’t harmless. excuses are a threat to our families and workplace.
If we see rationally, One of the things that I’ve recognized as a differentiator between healthy and unhealthy relationships is the presence of excuses, whether it’s yours and/or theirs. In the worst of situations where you may be denying, rationalising, and minimizing, you may even be making excuses for their excuses which only goes to show how poor the original excuse was.
A problem well defined is a problem half-solved. Recognition of the real problem is half the battle. The fact is that we are more accustomed to thinking of excuses as a minor problem, but infact the excuses are like a continuous dose of venom to our spirit, families, organizations and society at large. Will you look into the matter today? or are you busy?
Most of the people have insufficient information to determine the difference between an excuse and a reason. This is a real dilemma because it allows the majority of excuses to be accepted as true, even if, in reality these were not. When it comes to reason or excuses the boundaries blend and blur. Again, some of us are expert at it and make it nearly impossible for others to distinguish between an excuse and a reason. The problem is magnified as the number of interactions increase at home and in the work place with growth and functions. Double trouble appears when we are faced with a choice between two lose-lose solutions accept excuses and suffer a loss or reject excuses and annoy a dear one. This is how excuses are accepted in our interactions, rather reluctantly. Benefit of doubt is always given to the excuse maker. So, we don’t like to miss our chance of making an excuse.
The secret to eliminate excuses is to act with foresight rather then hindsight. It is to stop working on whether or not any particular excuse is valid or invalid, and to start working on the reasons why we make excuses in the first instance. We need to get rid of the conditions conducive to excuse-making. Keeping in mind that excuse-making is a silent killer, and it is a slow-creeping deadly disease, can we take a clear and strong stand? The answer is a resounding “NO”! Leaders, managers and family members can’t be dictators. They can’t order- “No excuse-making at all”. Since excuses are self-protective, this would soon cause a complete breakdown of the system. Nobody likes to suffer from pain. Excuses can help a person feel better. This is true physically, mentally, and emotionally. Human beings have psychological defense mechanisms against pain. Experiment has been conducted where a special pair of glasses was used to invert a person’s field of vision so that every thing was seen as upside down. In a short period of time, a person wearing these glasses began to see everything as before, right side up! What’s more, when the lenses were removed the world appeared once again temporarily upside down. Soon, however, the person began to see the world again right side up.