Infidelity shatters even the most strongest of relationships and leaves behind feelings of anger, guilt and betrayal. Overcoming these feelings may become extremely difficult. Support from family, their friends, a therapist and support from each other can help couples out it behind them and come out as a stronger successful couple. However, for some, an affair may be too heavy a burden for others to bear and the only answer is the parting of ways.
Affairs are not always the cause of a marriage ending. Unless those marital problems that created the affair are resolves, it may make a marriage much worse that it was even before the affair. After the affair is over, the couple has an opportunity to fix and solve their problems and make their marriage better than before but the biggest obstacle to overcome in such a recovery are the left over emotional reactions from the affair.
It is common for the spouse who had the affair to feel any remorse and for the victimized spouse to believe that they are not at fault therefore when the affair ends and the couple is ready for rebuilding their relationship, neither of the two is willing to take responsibility. Sometimes, the apology is not necessary but the necessary thing to take appropriate measures for rebuilding the relationship so that they can come out as a successful couple. However, an apology may make those steps a lot easier.
Once the apologies have been made, the couple should move towards rebuilding the relationship and trust that has been lost and leave the past behind. For restoring a marriage after an affair, each spouse must make efforts to avoid being disrespectful, making demands and being angry at all costs. The first step is to create a safe environment. This may take careful thinking and planning. For successful negotiation, understanding and respecting each other’s perspectives is very important in order to resolve conflicts. Tentative solutions to problems should be taken out and acknowledged by both of them. The goal is resolving conflicts by keeping their feelings in mind and meeting each other’s emotional needs.
Relationship counseling helps to bring both partners together in joint session and individual sessions. The sources of the conflicts are understood and resolved. Taking responsibility and showing commitment the key aspects by forgiving and building trust. The integrative behavioral couple therapy helps to increase intimacy after the affair.
Seek the help of understanding friends, trained counselors, self-help books and additional advice from a professional. Marriage counseling helps couples put the affair into perspective but identifying underlying issues that lead to the affair, how to strengthen and rebuild your relationship. Together, as a couple, seek understanding. If both are committed to heal their relationship and get past the pain and suffering that may be present, their reward can be a new kind of marriage which will continue to grow and exceed any previous expectations. Forgiveness is mandatory because holding a grudge chains the person in the past, both physically and emotionally therefore letting go of your past is necessary.