A relationship in which a person is controlled by another, who is constantly promoting a pathological conditions, it refers to the one who wants to command over other submissive person
By: Merriam Webster Dictionary
Co-dependence movement in Arizona in the mid 80’s. Co-Dependents Anonymous had its first meeting in October of 1986, and reading material on Co-dependence as a disease. These Co-dependence books were the next generation evolved from the books on the Adult Child Syndrome of the early 80’s.
In Clark & Stoffel’s 1992, research article entitled: “Assessment of Co-dependency Behavior in Two Health Student Groups”, they described: “A painful dependence which includes: compulsive behaviors, forceful approvals, destruction of self-worth and identity”.
An extreme control on others personal life, taking charge on others wellbeing will shatter the individuality of one person, it lowers the self esteem, self concept, and increases external locus of control. Codependent behaviors are self-destructive.
Decide what you are selfish or selfless
Do not get lost in the age of Me, Me, Me
According to Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More (1986):
Codependency harms a person in many ways: disturbance of moods, emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, it is a paradoxical dependency.
Scott Welzelt from Albert Einstein College of Medicine said that: “Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy bonding, where one person doesn’t have self-efficacy or autonomy”.
- Develop functional hobbies
- Distance yourself
- Spend peaceful time
- Expend the circle of support system.
Codependence /Codependency = A Spiritual disease
Factors leading to Co-dependency:
- Lack of love and nurture
- Family addiction
- Physical, emotional and sexual abuse Mental or physical illness.
Recovery suggestions for Co-dependency:
- Stop living like a victim
- Trust yourself
- Feel your feelings
- Be compassionate yourself
- Be tormenting
- Stop self doubt
- Stop reacting
- Detach emotionally
- Become self responsible
- Prioritize needs and wants
- Exercise rights and choice
- Face reality
- Stop other dependence
- Set boundaries
- Practice communication
- Depend on yourself
- Depend on your
- God Live your life in recovery.
Characteristics of Co-dependency:
- Disconnected self
- Lack of trust
- Relationship problems
- Weak boundaries
- Sex problems
- Poor communication
- I am not enough
- Not loveable
- Don’t feel
- Don’t self care
- Don’t enjoy
- I am to blame
Co-dependency recovery principles:
- Behave differently
- Take self responsibility
- Accept your co-dependency
When a person attempt to control some else’s life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own
By: Daniel Chidiac
Co-dependency è letting go of unhealthy relationships
Criteria of Co-dependents:
- Absence of self-relation
- Dependency on others
- Compulsive helping
- People pleasing
Co-dependency stands for:
- C = caring for
- O = others before yourself
- D = doesn’t give you strength
- E = even though you may feel
- P = powerful in order to be
- E = empowered you must step back
- N = nonchalantly allow yourself to
- D = delve into your wellbeing
- E = eventually feelings of peace will
- N = naturally surround you
- C = covering like a blanket for
- Y = you and those you love.
Tough love is the antidote for co-dependence
Co-dependent Relationships and Toxic Love:
- Development of self, first priority
- Give opportunities for self and others to grow.
- Encouragement for each other’s progressive plans.
- Ready to adjust and negotiate, problem solving together.
- Enhance each others individuality.
- Dealing your relation with full command over it and try to cope in most of the situations.
- Enjoy your own company
- Cycle of comfort.
- Toxic love:
- Insecurity leading to loneliness
- Excessive involvement
- Limited social life
- Fear from approval
- Jealousy, possessiveness, fear of competition
- Control over things, blaming, passive or aggressive manipulation
- Trying to change other under the influence of rigid behaviour
- Relationship is not trustworthy
- Expectation; that one partner will handle everything and other one will not take part in it
- Fusion (being obsessed with each other’s problems and feelings)
- Unable to endure separation
- Cycle of pain and despair.
Love is not supposed to be teasing. There is nothing wrong in maintaining a relationship that will last forever but expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional.